Piece # 004

DATE - 30.apr.2008
PREVIOUS ALIMENTARY INTAKE - Lamb chops with lemon risotto

BEVERAGE CONSUMPTION - seven pints of pilsen
DURATION - 120''
COLOUR - vivid brown, with oily flashes
CONSISTENCY - soft and slippery
FRAGRANCE - methane all the way
MILEAGE OF TP FOR COMPLETE HYGIENE - less than 8 ft.
REMARKS BY THE AUTHOR - a very sneaky one, came disguised as a fart. Almost tarnished my new cotton Y-fronts.

Piece # 003

DATE - 03.oct.2007
PREVIOUS ALIMENTARY INTAKE - German food (large amount)
BEVERAGE CONSUMPTION - six jugs of lager
DURATION - 90''
COLOUR - sheer brown, with red stripes
CONSISTENCY - steel-hard
FRAGRANCE - toxic and airborne
MILEAGE OF TP FOR COMPLETE HYGIENE - ca. 4 ft
REMARKS BY THE AUTHOR - this wasn't a mere crap job; was a labour instead.

Piece # 002

DATE - 12.sep.2007
PREVIOUS ALIMENTARY INTAKE - 1.5 footlong Sub

BEVERAGE CONSUMPTION - two pints of heavy

DURATION - 45'' (15'' the 1st and 30'' the 2nd)

COLOUR - light beige, yellowy

CONSISTENCY - tender

FRAGRANCE - pepper and sulfur

MILEAGE OF TP FOR COMPLETE HYGIENE - ca. 11 ft

REMARKS BY THE AUTHOR - preceeded by a very pleasant spree of flatulence.

Piece # 001

DATE - 05.sep.2007
PREVIOUS ALIMENTARY INTAKE - chinese food (kung-pow)
BEVERAGE CONSUMPTION - one pint of coke

DURATION - 15''

COLOUR - light brown - dark beige

CONSISTENCY - medium hard

FRAGRANCE - faint and indistinctable

MILEAGE OF TP FOR COMPLETE HYGIENE - ca. 7 ft

REMARKS BY THE AUTHOR - very relieving. Work done after a terribly anguishing tube ride.